I’ve got a confession. All the good stuff I’ve been doing to try and follow my heart and make positive change has crumbled in a big, dusty heap. I’m sat in the rubble and I’m a little bit over it.
If it’s ‘meant to be’ shouldn’t it be easier than this?
Have you ever had that feeling? You’re doing all the ‘right’ things. You’re really proud of yourself. It all feels like it’s falling into place. And then, suddenly… it all falls down around your feet, leaving you dazed in a pile of dust.
So when you’re doing all the ‘right’ things and it all feels like it’s falling to shit anyway, how can you pick up the pieces?
And should you?
The short answer is yes. Yes. You should.
When you’re embarking on major change, chances are there’s going to be a big ugly wall in the way, holding you back. Pretty much everyone has their wall – if changing the habits of a lifetime/following your dreams was that easy, everyone would have picture perfect lives (and zero need for my blog or any other like it).
This wall is resistance to change – mostly made up of our loyal friends: fear, uncertainty and doubt.
Your mind isn’t a fan of change. Even if your current situation makes you unhappy, your mind doesn’t mind – at least it’s familiar and predictable.
And the bigger your change and the more important it is to you, the stronger and higher your ‘resistance wall’ will be.
“Sometimes when we try to release a pattern, the whole situation seems to get worse for a while. This is not a bad thing. It is a sign that the situation is beginning to move.”
Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life
So here are a few ways your can knock down your resistance wall, clear the rubble and make way for more of the good stuff.
1. Physically let go
Fear and anger can literally get locked in the body and come out as physical ailments. Screaming in the car (when you’re alone) or punching a pillow (see previous) can be very therapeutic and give you a cracking dose of clarity.
2. Use your imagination
What would you do if failure simply wasn’t an option – if you knew that you would succeed? You’d probably stop procrastinating and get on with doing it. See my post on procrastination for quick and dirty tips on getting stuff done. If you wouldn’t ‘just do it’, it’s probably not the right change for you.
3. Consider the ‘other people’ conundrum
Are other people influencing how you feel about your change? If so, think about where the naysayers are coming from and what their motives are. Are these people the kind of people you aspire to be? Are they living their dreams? Are they motivated and positive? If not, thank them for their input then politely disregard it.
4. Reframe your resistance
The greater the resistance, the greater the potential. More resistance means more awesomeness. Big dreams mean big challenges. Roadblocks just mean that the end destination is more worthwhile and will feel all the sweeter when you get there.
And you will get there. Take a sledgehammer to the wall. Knock it the fuck down.
Want more Wellbeing bites morsels delivered direct to your inbox? Simply enter your email in the Follow Wellbeing bites by email box (up there on the right, or after the posts if you’re on a smartphone) and you won’t miss a thing.